Chapter Three: The Abbot and the Case of the Missing Dog
Ever since that night in the abbot’s quarters when he chatted with Elder Hui Ren, Xiao Yan’s words had been echoing endlessly in the abbot’s mind.
“It seems the abbot still has a dog, so I can’t leave yet…”
Such pure malice… From then on, the abbot took the dog with him everywhere—eating, drinking, even relieving himself, and at night he would even tie the dog to himself before sleeping. Though two days had passed without incident, the abbot refused to lower his guard.
Not only that, the abbot decided to take the initiative. He’d heard Xiao Yan had been skulking around the library pavilion lately, so he went to investigate.
The library pavilion was crowded with pilgrims that day. The abbot hid in a corner, stroking his dog, eyes scanning the throng with wary vigilance.
Suddenly, the dog barked twice in a certain direction.
The abbot immediately turned to look.
A suspicious figure!
A turquoise hemp shirt paired incongruously with bright red trousers—a jarring, eye-catching combination. And with that bald head, there could be no mistake: it was Xiao Yan.
The abbot clenched his fists, a cold sweat breaking out. The one who slaughtered his pig—this feud was irreconcilable! How dare the brat swagger around so brazenly? He had to move first, teach this rascal a lesson, make him think twice before trying to mess with his dog again.
Sure enough, the figure was acting furtively, eyes darting about, clearly up to no good—perhaps planning to steal something?
The abbot began edging closer, blending with the crowd.
Don’t startle the snake by beating the grass…
He crept up, step by careful step, until at last he was right behind the figure.
Wait—a closer look revealed the figure flirting with a female pilgrim…
How should he be punished for this?
A lewd, wicked grin crept across the abbot’s lips.
Heh, finally, the chance for revenge!
He gathered his inner power—twenty-five layers of cultivation, all focused at his fingertips. In a flash, he struck, jabbing mercilessly at the figure’s backside.
“Thousand-Year Killer!”
The abbot cried out almost gleefully.
A crisp sound accompanied the move—clean, perfect execution.
The entire library pavilion fell silent, as if in tacit coordination.
Such a strike, infused with internal power, could keep a man constipated for half a year…
A blood-curdling scream followed, though the voice sounded somewhat odd. The abbot paid it no mind—he only wanted to see Xiao Yan’s agonized face.
Xiao Yan was about to turn around…
Meanwhile, another figure slipped stealthily past the engrossed abbot, who was too caught up in his triumph to notice. That figure casually took the abbot’s dog, grinning as he gave a thumbs-up.
“Abbot, you’re really something! Practicing martial arts? What skill is that?”
“Ah, a unique technique I’ve honed for years. Specially designed for unruly disciples, especially a certain little scoundrel…”
But—wait—something felt off.
That voice was all too familiar.
Xiao Yan?!
“How did you…? You’ve mastered body-shifting? No, wait—then who is that?”
The abbot whipped his head around to look forward.
He froze.
The person ahead turned around.
“Who are you?”
Both men stared blankly at each other.
That was no Xiao Yan—just a lecherous, sharp-eyed brute with a shaved head.
The abbot tensed up. “Amitabha, may I explain? Believe it or not, you weren’t my intended target…”
“But you already poked me… Could you remove your hand before we continue?”
“Of course…”
Halfway through withdrawing his hand, the abbot seemed to recall something—and thrust it back in.
“Ah—bastard…”
The brute’s expression was a mixture of anger and odd delight. “Brother, what game are you playing?”
“My… inner power is still inside you…”
“So, what, you think you can reach in and suck it back out?”
“Seems… I can’t…”
“Damn you! Get out!”
“Yes, yes…”
Rubbing his now-swollen bald head, the abbot muttered, “Can’t blame me entirely… Acting all sneaky, it’s easy to be misunderstood…”
Still, lately there’d been many unfamiliar pilgrims in the temple. He’d best warn Elder Hui Ren to be extra vigilant—the secret passage in the library pavilion hid martial arts manuals coveted by countless others.
With that thought, the abbot cheerfully made his way to Hui Ren’s quarters.
Yet, all the way there, something felt wrong. His hands felt oddly empty—freedom was a wonderful thing…
Wait—
Damn…
Where was the dog?
Where was the dog?
Only then did the abbot smack his forehead in realization. “How could I be so muddleheaded…”
That scoundrel Xiao Yan! He must have taken advantage of the chaos to make off with the dog. He even said something as he left…
What was it?
“Abbot, your dog has remarkable bones—a once-in-a-generation martial arts prodigy. The peace of the world depends on him. May I borrow him for a couple of days to train? I promise to return you a howling celestial hound…”
Train my foot! As if I don’t know your ‘training’ means boiling him for soup!
Howling celestial hound? That’s just a fancy way of saying you’ll send him to heaven!
The abbot nearly fainted with rage.
No, I must find that little rogue! Otherwise, there’ll be no dog-meat soup for me…
The next day, chaos reigned in Golden Mountain Temple. The martial arts manual “Muscle-Tendon Changing Classic” had been stolen from the secret passage beneath the library pavilion.
The abbot was beside himself with worry. After instructing Elder Hui Ren to do everything possible to retrieve the manual, he hurried out, even more anxious about his dog possibly turning into a ‘celestial hound.’
“Where has that scoundrel Xiao Yan gone?”
The abbot searched the entire temple, but Xiao Yan was nowhere to be found.
But along the way, he picked up quite a few rumors.
Monk Yuanfu: “Oh, Xiao Yan? I saw him this morning. He was talking mysteriously about practicing some unrivaled martial art. Even showed me something… what was it… Sunflower… something or other…”
The abbot: “Heh… what martial art?”
Monk Yuantong: “I don’t know either, but he asked us some strange questions… Like how to make a painless one-cut… Said he wanted to cut that… thing… How would I know? I’ve never done it, so I told him—just swing the knife, close your eyes, and it’ll be over…”
Monk B gestured with a slicing motion at his own crotch…
The abbot: “Is this martial art formidable?”
Monk Yuandan: “I hear it’s amazing… lets you move feces with your mind…”
The abbot: “Wait… what? A peerless martial art lets you move feces remotely? But why would anyone want to do that?”
The abbot pondered this for a long time, unable to fathom the connection between a supreme martial art and moving feces remotely.
However, it did remind him of a long-lost legend—about a former abbot of Golden Mountain Temple, who was rumored to possess this very skill…
Still, after much inquiry, the abbot finally learned that Xiao Yan had gone to the Hall of Arhats to bribe the Eighteen Arhats, and so he rushed off in a great hurry.