Chapter One: Xiao Yan Wants to Leave the Monastery

To keep it brief, Dr. Xiao Yan, a psychiatrist at a mental hospital, was killed in a freak accident during electroconvulsive therapy. When he awoke, he realized he had crossed into another world.

!!!

“Your internal strength—third tier! Level: low!” Monk Huiren gazed at the aura of inner power emanating from Xiao Yan and coldly pronounced the verdict.

No sooner had he spoken than laughter erupted throughout the entire Golden Mountain Monastery. Even the abbot’s dog barked in disdain a few times and then lifted its leg to urinate on the bald head of the napping abbot.

“With such paltry strength, you want to challenge the Eighteen Arhats Formation, leave the order, and return to secular life? Sheer delusion.”

“What future is there in quitting monkhood? There’s so much promise in being a monk! Could it be the old abbot’s charm isn’t enough to keep people here?”

“Er… Master Huili, spare us your nonsense. Yours is so short…”

“Yes, wait—how do you know he’s short? You two… I think I know what’s going on here…”

Taunts and jeers came from all directions, but Xiao Yan paid them no mind. Whether before or after this transmigration, he was destined to be the protagonist of his own story.

Perhaps it started when his parents named him Xiao Yan, or maybe it was because he shared the name of a hero from some novel.

Xiao Yan strode boldly into the Hall of Arhats. If he could break through the Eighteen Arhats Formation, he’d be allowed to return to secular life. Being reincarnated into the body of a monk was truly troublesome.

But this time, he was well prepared, especially as he faced the scornful glares of the eighteen monks standing before him.

Every protagonist must first suffer disdain before showing their brilliance—Xiao Yan had read enough web novels to know this pattern well.

It was said that monks who trained in the Eighteen Arhats Formation were always overheated, so… for easier cooling…

But those monks really were stripped bare like caterpillars… ahem…

Xiao Yan met the eighteen monks’ repulsive stares with an equally contemptuous gaze.

“You want to leave the mountain? Return to secular life?”

The eighteen monks spoke in unison.

“Yes,” Xiao Yan replied coolly.

“Then… then you’ll have to step over our corpses!” The monks’ challenge was trite, but they immediately formed up, ready for battle.

“Xiao Yan, this is your one hundred and eighth attempt to challenge the Eighteen Arhats Formation! Begin!” Elder Huiren struck the wooden fish on the table to signal the start.

Outside the Hall of Arhats, a crowd had gathered, eager to watch Xiao Yan’s latest humiliation. They never tired of it.

“I heard Xiao Yan used to be a genius—he’d reached the tenth level of inner strength a year ago. How has he fallen back to the third level? He’s regressed!”

“Hmph, this guy used to show off all the time, talking about finding some mysterious flame. Ever since he was struck by lightning a year ago, he’s become lazy and gluttonous, always dreaming of sneaking down the mountain to the brothels… He barely practices martial arts anymore… It’s a wonder he even has three levels of inner strength left…”

“So that’s it… But with such poor skills, how does he dare challenge the Eighteen Arhats Formation? Even our abbot may not be able to pass that trial…”

Far away in his meditation chamber, the abbot sneezed, rolled over, and continued his nap.

“Do you really believe in him? Xiao Yan is nothing but an overreaching clown.”

In the center of the Hall of Arhats, Xiao Yan steadied himself in a horse stance, channeling his internal energy. This time, he vowed, he would leave the mountain!

As a transmigrator, once he left the monastery, he was sure he’d make a name for himself in the outside world—just like in the novels, which meant it couldn’t possibly be wrong.

The Eighteen Arhats seemed to sense the rising force within Xiao Yan. Their expressions grew serious.

Just as Xiao Yan lifted his head, everything went black—the eighteen monks pounced on him, stacking themselves atop him, pinning him to the floor.

A mouthful of blood spurted from Xiao Yan’s lips as he was crushed into serious injury. “Damn…”

It was all over in an instant—Xiao Yan had demonstrated the full extent of his feeble abilities.

“Give up already!” the Eighteen Arhats shouted in unison.

Though it was an expected spectacle, the monks in the Hall of Arhats still burst out laughing, some nearly rolling on the floor.

Elder Huiren shook his head and sighed softly. He had witnessed Xiao Yan’s fall from prodigy to failure. If only he hadn’t been so arrogant a year ago and struck by lightning, if only he had continued to train diligently, perhaps he’d have had a chance today.

What a pity.

Was this the end?

But as everyone reveled in his misfortune, a faint smile touched the corner of Xiao Yan’s lips.

Even crushed by the heap of monks, he remained calm, his movements composed and practiced as if he’d rehearsed them a thousand times.

He reached into his robe with his right hand and retrieved something.

???

“Oh heavens!”

Some of the monks began to tremble as they saw Xiao Yan’s movement.

“Look! What’s Xiao Yan doing? Is he up to his old tricks again?”

“Very likely. Last time, he suddenly pulled out a bunch of snakes, trying to disrupt the test—he almost had a giant snake devour the Arhats’ caterpillars!”

“Hmph, mere parlor tricks. Though… those snakes were rather tasty… A grave sin, a grave sin…”

“Shh…”

A year of living together had not been easy. After being struck by lightning, Xiao Yan had become eccentric and unpredictable, his actions impossible to anticipate.

Elder Huiren snorted in disdain. “No scheme can stand against absolute power.”

Most of the monks agreed with Elder Huiren, but… this Xiao Yan… he was clearly mad…

“Look! His hand moved!”

In that instant, Xiao Yan’s hand traced an arc.

Swish…

A simple movement, but after hundreds or thousands of targeted repetitions, even the simplest action becomes formidable.

It was a trick Xiao Yan had learned in the mental hospital.

“Ha!”

A cloud of powder exploded into the air, and the Eighteen Arhats were left dumbfounded.

Elder Huiren’s face changed instantly—he cried out, “Careful! It’s quicklime!”

This was not the first time Xiao Yan had used this tactic. Elder Huiren had seen it once before—in the abbot’s quarters. The abbot had been blinded for a month and was still recovering in his cell.

At that very moment, the abbot’s dog, as if sensing a disturbance, shivered, urinated once more on the abbot’s bald head, then trotted contentedly down the mountain in search of female companionship.

“Despicable! Shameless! For a man of the cloth to resort to such base means—what a disgrace to the Buddhist order!”

Many monks began to curse.

But the Eighteen Arhats were not so easily bested. At Elder Huiren’s warning, they quickly shielded their eyes with their hands.

“Heh…” Xiao Yan sneered, the smile on his lips widening.

A line from the director of the mental hospital echoed in his mind: Never use normal logic with our patients, or you’ll die a miserable death.

The monks present were indignant, but thanks to Elder Huiren’s warning, the Eighteen Arhats managed to protect their eyes. Though their faces were dusted with powder, as long as their eyes were unharmed, their battle strength remained.

But then…

Elder Huiren was the first to sense that something was off… but what was it?

The Eighteen Arhats were unharmed, their faces twisted with even greater scorn.

But then, their expressions slowly shifted to seriousness.

“What is this?”

The Eighteen Arhats stared in disbelief.

“I’m doing you a favor,” Xiao Yan said, pausing a moment before continuing with great sincerity, “It took me a lot of effort to catch that pig.”

“What the hell! This isn’t quicklime… it’s pork powder! This is horrifying!”

The Eighteen Arhats turned pale as death, their eyes vacant, as though they’d been violated, gazing at Xiao Yan with the despair of abandoned wives.

“What’s happening?” Elder Huiren was utterly bewildered. He stepped forward to investigate, but as he drew near, his face too turned ashen, and he began to mumble in disbelief.

The other monks in the Hall of Arhats couldn’t hear what was said, nor did they understand what had happened. Those standing closest to Elder Huiren caught snippets of his mumbling and fell silent, only whispering when questioned by their neighbors.

There were many monks in the Hall of Arhats, but all now spoke in hushed tones. No one dared to raise their voice.

This was a taboo—a Buddhist taboo. Especially at Golden Mountain Monastery, eating meat was a grave violation of the precepts.

“Too terrible, too terrible… I’ve broken the precept! I’m doomed to hell!” one of the Arhats finally swallowed the powder, staring at Xiao Yan in utter collapse as he shouted.

The rest of the Arhats fell to the ground, utterly bereft of hope.

Yet… as they collapsed, each Arhat secretly flicked his tongue to the powder at the corner of his lips… then licked again.

It was…

Delicious.

“Quick! Stop him!” Elder Huiren was the first to react, but by the time he spoke, Xiao Yan had already dashed out, leaving the Eighteen Arhats savoring their forbidden taste.