Chapter 30: The Mother Who Traps Her Own Daughter

As she gazed at Fang Xu lying flat on the bed, breathing steadily, Qin Suwen couldn’t help but let her eyes linger on his face. This was the first time she had ever observed Fang Xu so closely and carefully. She had to admit, this lifetime had truly blessed Fang Xu with remarkable looks—so much so that even Qin Suwen felt a twinge of envy. After all, what girl doesn’t love beauty? Fang Xu’s skin looked so supple, as if it could be pressed and water would bead up from it. Unable to resist, Qin Suwen reached out and gently touched his cheek, savoring the smoothness and softness beneath her fingers.

A playful impulse welled up in her, and she poked Fang Xu’s cheek with a fair finger, only to find it oddly amusing. She poked again, and again; yet Fang Xu appeared utterly oblivious, breathing quietly as if lost in a distant dream. Emboldened by his lack of response, Qin Suwen grew increasingly daring. Simply prodding his cheek was no longer enough—she placed both hands against his face, kneading it as one might a beloved hound’s head.

Watching his face shift and change shape between her palms, a faint smile crept across Qin Suwen’s lips, yet she couldn’t restrain herself. After all, in this moment, the only ones in the room were herself and the ever-peaceful Fang Xu. Even if she wished to do something mischievous to him, there would be nothing to stop her. Seized by this notion, she unfastened Fang Xu’s outer robe in a spirit of mischief.

When her gaze fell upon the contours of his chest, Qin Suwen couldn’t help but swallow. This was, after all, the first time she’d ever seen a man’s chest muscles. Curiosity compelled her to poke them with her finger, after which she glanced down at her own chest in wonder.

She found herself puzzled—why did men have chests too? Weren’t chests meant for girls? Had Fang Xu been awake, he would have happily explained that some men’s muscles put even women’s curves to shame.

But alas, Fang Xu had no inkling that his body was presently at the mercy of Qin Suwen’s playful whims. Perhaps roused by a chill in the air, he rolled over in his sleep, and, as if guided by a habit from his past life, instinctively reached out for something to hold as he slumbered. The only thing within reach was Qin Suwen, her cheeks now flushed scarlet. Without a second thought, Fang Xu drew her into his embrace, tightening his hold as if to ward off the cold.

Panic seized Qin Suwen. She could feel Fang Xu’s bare chest pressed intimately against her, his warm breath falling upon her ear. The sensation sent a wave of weakness through her limbs; she melted into his grasp, strangely unresisting. She realized, with a start, that she did not wholly dislike this closeness.

“Let me go!” she protested, suddenly aware that this was not quite proper, and struggled to break free. But Fang Xu’s strength was not something she could overcome. Ultimately, she gave up her resistance, only to discover her heart beating wildly, faster and faster, as if it would leap from her chest. She had never imagined her innocent mischief would lead to such a turn.

Fang Xu, for his part, showed no sign of releasing her, not for the entire night. With his leg draped over hers and his breath caressing her ear and neck, sleep was impossible for Qin Suwen. Her neck and earlobes flushed crimson, and she felt as though her whole body might catch fire. The warmer she grew, the more tightly Fang Xu clung to her, as if she were his living hot water bottle.

Mortified, Qin Suwen dared not move for fear he might do something more. Ever since that embarrassing accident, she had sought out her mother to ask whether she might be with child. Her mother had been both amused and exasperated, gently ruffling Qin Suwen’s hair as she explained that such a thing could not happen—only a passionate embrace between a man and woman could result in a baby.

That was all her mother could say, not knowing how else to explain such matters. It eased Qin Suwen’s mind a little, for she had been worried how she’d face the entire court if she suddenly found herself expecting.

Her mother, understanding her daughter’s anxieties, looked at her with guilt—for having no son of her own, the throne must one day pass to Qin Suwen, a girl. How hard it must be, yet what could she do? But Qin Suwen paid her mother’s words little heed; her thoughts were now wholly occupied by the idea of passionate embraces.

Was this not, she wondered, exactly what her mother had described? If she found herself with child, what then? She could only blame her mother for misleading her, even if not entirely so—after all, a passionate embrace was indeed part of the process. Innocently, Qin Suwen now believed she might be having Fang Xu’s child, even going so far as to ponder names for their future offspring.

Her mother’s words had left her thoroughly misled. Lost in such musings, she eventually drifted off to sleep.

Qin Suwen was accustomed to rising early for court, and so she woke at her usual hour. When she saw Fang Xu still lying beside her, her cheeks burned hot with embarrassment. Fleeing as if in flight, she didn’t even allow her maid to help her dress—she hurriedly clothed herself and stole from the room, as if afraid Fang Xu would awaken at any moment. Once outside the hall, she patted her chest, trying to calm her racing heart.