126: Heartbroken and Sorrowful

She returned home listlessly and threw herself face-down onto the bed.

"Xiao Bai," Xiao Qi said, her voice muffled as her face pressed into the sheets, "I suddenly find this Earth so unpleasant. It makes me feel so low and powerless. I really want to leave."

Her voice was too soft; Xiao Bai, sleeping soundly, didn't hear her at all, nor did it even know she had come in.

With no one to answer her, Xiao Qi retreated into her own little world.

"Lin Yichen, haven't you loved Ye Xiyang for so many years? Why have you grown tired of me now? Or is it that after five years, you actually changed your heart long ago? Was I just a passing whim to you?"

"But in your eyes, am I not Ye Xiyang? So, there shouldn't be any 'passing whim' or 'growing tired'!"

Xiao Qi lay there for a moment before sitting up. She took out her phone and silently typed a message: "Lin Yichen, what should I do? I like you now, just as much as you liked me."

Recipient: Brother Lin!

Then, she let out a long, heavy sigh.

Does doing this count as seeking survival from the jaws of death?

Regardless, doing this was a way to give herself closure, an ending. Just thinking about having done it made her feel a little lighter.

Just as she was about to hit send, Xiao Bai opened its eyes and saw her staring blankly at the phone.

"Xiao Qi, when did you get back? Why aren't you asleep yet?"

Hearing Xiao Bai's voice, her hand paused.

What would be the point of sending it? He had already said so decisively that he didn't want this.

Sending a message now—wouldn't that just be begging for humiliation?

She looked toward the floor-to-ceiling window. The pitter-patter of the rain outside seeped into her ears, feeling as if it were dripping directly into her heart.

For some reason, the soreness she had been holding back in her eyes instantly overflowed.

"Xiao Bai, my eyes hurt, and my heart hurts even more. It’s the same feeling as a while ago, but back then I could still control my aching eyes, and now I can’t! My body seems to be broken."

Xiao Qi pointed to the corners of her eyes where tears were leaking out. "It’s leaking here."

Xiao Bai sighed, "Xiao Qi, you are completely finished. You’re crying over an Earthling."

"I don't want to cry; this stuff is so salty," Xiao Qi wiped at the tears vigorously, but her eyes wouldn't stop leaking.

New tears welled up before the old ones had even dried on her face.

Finally, unable to control it any longer, she burst into loud, uncontrollable sobs.

Fang Yun, who had been asleep, heard the crying and immediately threw off her covers and ran over.

"Xiyang, what’s wrong?"

Xiao Qi sobbed as she spoke, "Auntie, it’s leaking. I’m so sad."

"Leaking?"

Hearing this, Fang Yun immediately ran to the bathroom to check, but everything was normal.

She ran back. "Xiyang, the bathroom isn't leaking!"

"It’s leaking here," Xiao Qi pointed to her red, swollen eyes. "It hurts so much here, and it won't stop leaking."

"..."

Fang Yun immediately pulled her into a hug and asked softly, "Xiyang, are you crying because Yichen has a new girlfriend?"

Xiao Qi nodded through her loud sobs.

Fang Yun patted her back as if soothing a child. "Then have a good cry. You’ll feel better once you let it all out."

Xiao Qi wiped her tears and sobbed, "It doesn't feel better at all. Everything is filled with the sour scent of tears and a stuffed nose."

"Alright, alright, then don't cry anymore."

"But my eyes just won't stop leaking," Xiao Qi's face was a mess of tears. "Why would I do something so low-class and embarrassing as crying?"

Fang Yun thought she sounded like a child. "It's okay. Crying isn't low-class or embarrassing. Even men cry, let alone young girls. If you feel bad, just have a good cry. Maybe you should cry in front of Yichen; that way, he might feel sorry for you."

Yichen had liked Xiyang so much; Fang Yun truly hadn't expected him to have changed his heart. But if Xiyang shed tears in front of him, Yichen should feel some heartache, given how good their relationship used to be.

Xiao Qi shook her head immediately. "No, I am Gillis-Caracalla No. 7; I wouldn't do such an embarrassing thing. It’s just that if my eyes keep leaking like this, I’m going to devolve into a fish."

Fang Yun couldn't understand Xiao Qi's words at all, assuming she was rambling due to excessive grief. She figured that someone so heartbroken needed an unconventional method of comfort.

"Xiyang, let me tell you, fish don't cry. They can't shed tears underwater, so if you say you’ll devolve into a fish, I think that’s even better. That way, you won't be able to shed any more tears."

Hearing this, Xiao Qi stopped crying instantly, and her sobbing ceased.

Seeing that she had stopped, Fang Yun felt relieved. Sure enough, unconventional methods worked for the deeply heartbroken.

Fang Yun wiped the tear tracks from her face. "You've lost so much water; you should replenish it. I'll go get you a glass of warm water."

Two minutes later, Fang Yun pushed the door open, but she didn't see anyone in the bedroom.

"Xiyang? Xiyang?"

Fang Yun panicked. Her first reaction was to go to the bathroom. People always said that those driven to suicide by heartbreak would lie in a bathtub and slit their wrists.

She pushed open the bathroom door and rushed in, only to see Xiao Qi lying in the bathtub, completely submerged in the water.

Was she trying to drown herself?

Fang Yun was struck with terror, dropping the glass in her hand to the floor. She immediately rushed over to pull her up. "Xiyang, how could you be so foolish! How could you commit suicide? Are you okay? Come on, let me take you to the hospital..."

"Auntie, I'm not committing suicide. I'm treating an illness. I'm sick, and I need to cure it."

Xiao Qi kept her eyes shut tight as she was pulled out, fearing that if she opened them, the tears would break their dam again.

Hearing her speak, Fang Yun's heart, which had leaped into her throat, finally settled. "Xiyang, you scared me to death. I thought you... you must never do such a foolish thing again."

"This isn't a foolish thing," Xiao Qi opened her eyes, and tears immediately poured out, so she closed them again. "I'm treating an illness. Didn't you just say that fish don't cry underwater? So, I wanted to soak in the water for a while. Maybe it could cure this 'crying' disease."

As she spoke, she started to lie back down.

"No," Fang Yun pulled her into a hug and began to cry herself. "It's all my fault. It’s Auntie's fault. I shouldn't have encouraged you to approach Lin Yichen in the first place. I shouldn't have made you think you could marry into a wealthy family. Those Cinderella plots from TV dramas don't happen in real life."

"It's all my fault, Xiyang. From now on, Auntie won't try to find ways for you to go to Lin Yichen anymore. I just want you to live well and live happily. That Lin Yichen isn't worth our Xiyang liking him so much. We won't go find him ever again. Xiyang, Auntie will never encourage you to find him again. I just want you to live well, to live happily..."

Fang Yun grew more and more sorrowful as she spoke. Seeing that Auntie was even sadder than she was, Xiao Qi felt a pang of heartache and began to comfort her instead.

"Auntie, I won't soak anymore. Please don't cry, don't be sad. Is human sadness contagious? Auntie, don't worry, I will live well and happily. I'm not that fragile. If he doesn't want me, then I don't want him either! He made me cry today, and tomorrow I'll make him bleed. I'm very powerful, you know!"

"Then get up," Fang Yun stood up and helped her out of the bathtub. "Hurry and change your clothes. I'll blow-dry your hair so you don't catch a cold."

Xiao Qi hugged Fang Yun tightly. "Auntie, thank you. Thank you for being so good to me."

"You silly child, you are my family, and I am your aunt. If I'm not good to you, who would I be good to?"

"Then if," Xiao Qi let go of her and looked at her with red-rimmed eyes, "if we weren't family, would Auntie still be this good to me?"

"But we are family!" Fang Yun naturally didn't think much of it and went to the closet to get clothes. "Hurry and change, or you'll catch a cold."

"Oh!"

Xiao Qi lowered her eyes and went to the dressing room to change.

If she had lost the part of her life concerning love, there should be another part to support her existence.

The words that girl had said on the phone circled in Xiao Qi's mind.

She had now lost not only her love but even her family ties were fake.

Late at night, the rain outside continued.

"The Ye Xiyang who was always chasing you and loving you—do you still want her?"

"No!"

If she had lost the part of her life concerning love, there should be another part to support her existence.

Now she had lost not only her love, but even her family ties were fake.

These words haunted Xiao Qi like a nightmare.

Tears leaked from her closed eyes. Xiao Qi slowly opened them, sat up, and rested her gaze on the window. Listening to the pattering rain, her heart felt as cold as the rainy night.

"Xiao Qi, why are you crying again?"

Xiao Bai, miraculously, hadn't really slept through the night either. It lay on the bed, lifting its head to look at Xiao Qi.

"My eyes just won't stop wanting to leak tears," Xiao Qi tilted her head back, not wanting them to fall. "Xiao Bai, is there any way to force the tears back? Look for that kind of information."

"There is no such information," Xiao Bai said, its head resting on the bed, sounding hesitant. "Our planet has never had a case of crying. It’s like how Earthlings can't breathe fire—this is not a good symptom. Lin Yichen is a very dangerous person for you, Xiao Qi. Let’s find another way to return to our planet!"

"What other way could there be?" Xiao Qi choked out. "And why should I be treated like an object, tossed back and forth? I must go and make things clear with him."

"Xiao Qi, don't forget, in Lin Yichen's heart, you are Ye Xiyang, not Xiao Qi. So, the one being tossed back and forth isn't you, it's Ye Xiyang."

"But this heart is," Xiao Qi touched her heartbroken chest. "Ye Xiyang's heart is here with me, which means I am continuing her life. So Ye Xiyang is me, and I am Ye Xiyang. Her boyfriend and her aunt are also my boyfriend and my aunt. I don't want to lose love and then lose my family too."

Xiao Bai felt that Xiao Qi was becoming obsessed.