Chapter 111: Memories of the Past

Forget it, I’ll just try again! If it works, I’ll take the signal device tonight. Earthling emotions—it’s better if I stay out of them. As an alien, I’m simply not suited to deal with human feelings. My identity is already false, which makes it even less appropriate.

Honestly, I’m tired. Everyone around me treats me as Ye Xiyang. I just want to retrieve the signal device soon and go home. No matter what happens next, I’ll just rush forward; as long as his heartbeat quickens, I can grab the device.

This time, instead of using my powers, I hailed a taxi. Despite the rain, I got one easily. The driver was overly enthusiastic and started firing questions after hearing my destination.

“Miss, is your friend rich? That’s a place where wealthy people live.”

“Miss, are you studying or working?”

“Miss…”

“Miss…”

I answered with “Hmm” and “Oh,” my eyes fixed on the window. His words passed through my ears without a single one making sense. The scenery outside blurred past me, and I had no idea what I was seeing.

There wasn’t a single red light all the way; I arrived so quickly, stood right in front of the door, but my hand felt like it weighed a thousand pounds and I couldn’t lift it to knock. Yet, should I walk away? My feet were as heavy as my hands, rooted in place.

For a moment, I felt as if this would last forever—too afraid to approach, yet unwilling to leave. So, through cosmic vastness, through time immemorial, I would stand outside his door forever.

But how could there be an forever? What must come will come; no matter how much you hide, you cannot escape.

The door opened from inside. I didn’t have time to dodge and found myself staring straight into those dark, black eyes.

Yi Chen frowned deeply when he saw me. “Why are you here?”

I looked into his eyes—once intelligent and slightly amused, now filled with utter coldness and sometimes a hint of mockery. My gaze dropped to his thin lips.

They say people with such lips are heartless.

But if he is heartless, then to Ye Xiyang…

He merely forgot Ye Xiyang.

So it’s not his fault.

I raised my hand, tiptoed—and before I realized what I was doing, my lips replaced my fingers.

My lips still carried the chill of the outdoors, but his were unexpectedly warm. Yet that warmth suddenly struck a pang of sadness deep within me, and tears welled up uncontrollably, just like last time.

Until my wrist was gripped harshly.

A cold voice issued from above me, “You came all this way just to seduce me?”

My mind went blank; I was dumbfounded, all my thoughts flying away.

I looked at him helplessly, feeling the grip on my wrist tightening as if he wanted to crush it.

“Ye Xiyang, how long do you think I’ll hold on before I let go, hmm?”

What was I just doing? I clearly heard something solid inside me shattering—that sound of breaking terrified me. Yi Chen’s aggressive tone made me timid. I didn’t know what I was doing. I had intended to sever those days entirely, to exclude him completely, but then there was what Pan Sen said...

And what he just said...

Then what was I doing just now?

Was I humiliating myself?

Run! The thought surged and immediately took control of my actions. I didn’t know where the strength came from, but I broke free from his grasp and ran toward the door.

Yi Chen shouted sharply, “Ye Xiyang, what do you mean by this?”

Watching my retreating figure, his heart felt as if it were bound by an invisible string, tightening inch by inch until he could barely breathe.

He grabbed the collar of his shirt in frustration.

Damn it, why does my heart ache every time I see her leave?

The noisy streets suddenly filled my ears. Amidst the flow of people, I didn’t know where to go.

Where could I go?

I can’t return to my home planet, and here is where he is...

Alas, the world is so vast, yet there’s nowhere I can truly go.

Actually, there’s nowhere I want to go.

I told myself it’s because Auntie is here that I can’t bear to leave.

Suddenly, I tapped my head.

I just kissed him—why didn’t I think of the signal device?

But when I kissed him, he didn’t seem to have any accelerated heartbeat at all.

Ah, now that he dislikes me so much, there’s no way to make his heart race for me.

I touched my chest.

Since Pan Sen’s words, this part of me has been so uncomfortable.

I just felt like I became a different person.

I’m not usually one to be sentimental, so why was I so unbearably sad just now?

My sorrow felt as though it was about to die.

Ah! These emotional ups and downs are truly exhausting.

My phone rang—it was Auntie, asking why I hadn’t come back yet.

I’ll go back first.

Returning means facing Auntie’s worries and concerns again.

Of course, she’d ask about Yi Chen and me breaking up.

I repeated the same excuse: incompatible personalities. Then I went to my room and hugged Little White, complaining.

“Little White, Lin Yi Chen really hates me now. How should I get the signal device back?”

Little White stretched out his paws and said, “If you ask me, just take it by force.”

“That won’t do,” I plucked a few hairs from him. “Little White, how can you be so cruel? Risking someone’s life for a signal device? You’re awful. I’m going to pluck all your fur.”

Little White was speechless.

He quickly tried to make amends: “Then how about you strip naked in front of him and hug him? That’ll definitely make his heart race.”

I pulled more fur. “Little White, you’re so bad. I’m going to discipline you properly today.”

He jumped off the bed and moved far away. “Xiyang, what’s gotten into you? So indignant?”

I sighed, lying on my back, helpless. “I’m just a little anxious.”

Suddenly, I sat up. “He’s holding a press conference tomorrow, right? He probably hates me now because I keep pestering him. But if I go to the media event and clear things up, maybe he won’t hate me.”

I felt my idea was quite right.

“Yes, I’ll take the initiative tomorrow to clarify our relationship. That way, not only will Lin Yi Chen’s good image be preserved, but he won’t dislike me anymore. That’s a pleasant decision.”

“I don’t think that’s good for you,” Little White disagreed. “You’re a girl going out of your way to clarify things. That’ll ruin your image. Besides, that Earthling hasn’t returned your signal device yet; you shouldn’t be helping him.”

See? Little White is smart.

My head took a big turn; my destination was to help someone.

I defended myself miserably, “It’s not really helping him. First, I’m just an ordinary civilian; image matters little to me. Second, if I go, he’ll surely think differently of me. If he stops hating me, I might get close to him—and then there’s hope of getting the signal device back.”

Little White thought that second point made some sense.

With that decided, I lay down to sleep.

For the first time, I had a dream...

In my dream, I was walking alone along the tree-lined avenue of the school. The school entrance was bustling, filled with students carrying luggage, their faces bright with simple happiness.

I headed toward the playground and stood at the edge, watching many classmates jogging on the plastic track.

“Hey, how long does it take you to run 800 meters?”

One runner asked another beside him.

“I don’t know. I guess I’ll find out when I finish.”

“Then speed up.”

I smiled watching them, then crouched down, slipped through the railing, stood on the track, tiptoed to draw a starting line, and silently counted “one, two, three,” then dashed off at an 800-meter test pace.

With eyes closed, I ran through the night breeze, reaching the finish line.

“Four minutes twenty-five seconds—too slow,” someone suddenly tapped my head.

I turned to see a frustrated figure muttering, “What to do? Even slower than yesterday.”

Then he looked at me with shining eyes. “Yi Chen, how about you run ahead during the exam, and I chase after you? That way, I’d definitely run faster!”

Yi Chen glared at me.

I thought it was a good idea, but his glare was so unappreciative it made me a little disappointed. It was a good idea!

“How about hanging your photo in front of me when I run? That’d give me motivation…”

“Ye Xiyang, have you no shame?” Yi Chen finally couldn’t hold back and scolded me.

I noticed his ears reddening like a new discovery. “Yi Chen, why are your ears red?”

He glared again. “Ye Xiyang, you’re the dumbest person in the world. Even pigs are smarter than you.”

The scene shifted.

I was inside a house in the United States, holding a pen and writing:

Yi Chen, do you know? During these years abroad, I often drifted off alone, imagining our reunion, dreaming of our happiness together. These fantasies were my only comfort, the only joy through long, lonely days. All my strength and perseverance came from this vision of happiness.

Yet, whenever I think of my most trusted and best friend, your childhood sweetheart, Zhuang Jia, who told me she loves you, that she’s liked you since childhood, and that you don’t like me—that you only stayed with me because I wouldn’t let go, and you agreed to be my boyfriend out of exhaustion—she’s your childhood sweetheart, and just for that, you like her more than me. Her words were like a blade, cutting all my illusions, making me shrink back and want to escape...

I have never been confident in myself, and even less confident in our relationship. Though you agreed to be my boyfriend, you never once said you liked me. I think Zhuang Jia was right—you only stayed with me because I pestered you until you gave in. Yi Chen, though I lack confidence, my pride is strong, so I escape. I love you, so I don’t want to bind you with my one-sided affection. That’s why I left.