Chapter Thirty-Six: Burning the Midnight Oil

After a few mournful complaints, Su Lilu recalled what Prince Yi had told her. She immediately took out the medical book, muttering to herself, “I must memorize this.”

By the end of the hour of the Boar, Su Lilu was slumped over her desk, the candle beside her already more than half burned down. Stifling a yawn with her hand, tears welled up at the corners of her eyes from fatigue. Glancing at the medical book before her, she saw she’d only memorized a few pages. The thick volume made her sigh in dismay.

Her eyes drooped as her head sank lower, as if she’d fall asleep on the desk the next moment. Suddenly, with a “bang,” her forehead hit the tabletop, jolting her awake. As the candle guttered, she yawned and lit another, then dampened a cloth with tea to wipe her face, which revived her somewhat. Gazing at the medical book, she muttered, “This won’t do. Maybe I should just copy the whole thing out. That might help me remember it better.”

She quickly fetched ink, brush, and paper, but just as she was about to begin, another thought struck her. “Why don’t I copy it using modern numerals and English? That way, no one but me could understand it.”

She clapped her hands together in delight, her earlier despondency swept away. As the candle burned shorter and shorter, the stack of pages at her side grew ever thicker. Stretching with a great yawn, she noticed dawn breaking outside and realized she’d spent the entire night at her desk.

Just as she moved her neck, there was a loud crack. Tears sprang to her eyes as a sharp pain shot through her neck, leaving her unable to move. The medical book in her hand must not be left lying around. Just then, Liuzhu, hearing movement inside, knocked at the door. “Miss, shall I help you dress?”

“Liuzhu, come in quickly, I’ve twisted my neck!” Liuzhu heard the whimper in her mistress’s voice. She and Liuying hurriedly set down the washing basin and towels they’d brought, then rushed to examine Su Lilu.

“Miss, did you stay up all night?” Liuzhu stared in astonishment at the piles of densely written paper and the puddles of wax on the desk. “Did you really spend all night writing?”

“Yes, please rub my neck, it hurts so much. Liuying, bring the brazier.” Liuying quickly fetched a copper basin. After Liuzhu massaged her neck, the pain eased considerably. Su Lilu then picked up the medical book and, with trembling hands, held it over a lit candle until a flame caught. Only then did she toss the book into the basin, watching it slowly turn to ash.

“Miss, wasn’t that your favorite thing?” Liuzhu, puzzled, watched her mistress burn the book.

“It’s all in my head now, so it doesn’t matter if it’s gone,” Su Lilu replied, yawning again and again. Now that her task was finished, sleepiness overwhelmed her.

“Should I burn these as well?” Liuzhu asked, pointing at the stack of papers filled with strange symbols on the desk.

Su Lilu quickly snatched them away. “These are precious to me. Don’t touch them! I must put them away safely.” If these were lost, she would truly be heartbroken, for they were the fruit of her sleepless night.

“Miss, you’re going to be late for your lesson,” Liuying urged, seeing the hour grow late. Su Lilu finally remembered she was to study etiquette with the two madams today. “All right, you two prepare. I’ll be there soon.”

No longer dawdling, she rubbed her face vigorously in an attempt to shake off her fatigue. Sitting at her dressing table, Liuzhu handed her a wrung-out towel to gently wipe her face, while Liuying combed her hair, twisted it into a bun, and fastened a hairpin. With such attentive care, Su Lilu couldn’t help but close her eyes, her head nodding, until Liuying tugged her hair painfully a few times while styling it.

“All done, Miss. Have some breakfast, then hurry along, or else the madams will be cross.” Su Lilu gulped down a bowl of pearl porridge and nibbled a few pastries before heading off to the Songhua Pavilion with Liuzhu.

She arrived in good time and, after paying her respects, Madam Zhao nodded approvingly. Taking her seat, Su Baihan beside her let out a disdainful snort, which Su Lilu pretended not to hear.

She was so drowsy she could barely keep her eyes open. Several times, when Madam Zhao asked her to demonstrate, she didn’t even hear. Seeing the two madams’ faces darken, Su Lilu repeatedly apologized, “Madam, I didn’t mean it. Could you please repeat the instructions?”

Even Su Lilu felt embarrassed by her own behavior. Su Baihan, ever her adversary, seized the chance to sneer, “Big Sister, what’s wrong with your head? Madam explained it so simply, yet you can’t understand. Are you deliberately holding up our lessons?”

Su Baihan’s malicious insinuations drew the attention of the other two sisters. Su Lilu said not a word, deciding her energy was better spent resting than bickering with her.

Seeing Su Lilu remain silent, Su Baihan assumed she was cowed and poked her a few times, eager to see her make a fool of herself. She kept needling her, “Sister, it doesn’t matter if you can’t learn. None of us look down on you—after all, you used to be…”

Su Baihan chuckled, and Su Shan’er seemed to recall Su Lilu’s past as well, joining in the laughter. Their ridicule fell on deaf ears; Su Lilu’s face remained cold and impassive.

When Madam Zhao saw Su Lilu make another mistake, her patience snapped. “Miss, why are you so inattentive today? If you don’t master these rules, you’ll practice here all night if need be.”

“Madam, I promise to focus,” Su Lilu replied, though Madam Zhao only shot her a brief glance before turning her attention to the other three. Feeling a pang of bitterness, Su Lilu exhaled her frustration and quietly practiced the points Madam Zhao had just mentioned, all by herself.

By the end of the hour of the Monkey, Su Baihan and the others were dismissed, but Su Lilu remained, repeating her walking and kneeling postures alone in the empty room.

At last, when the two madams nodded in approval, Su Lilu lifted her gaze to see the moon had already climbed into the sky. Liuzhu had been peeking in, worried for her. When the madams finally let her go, Liuzhu hurried to support her, full of concern. “Miss, you must be exhausted. I’ll go fetch you something to eat.”

Only now did Su Lilu feel the hunger. Patting her rumbling stomach, she sighed, “You’re making my mouth water, Liuzhu.”

Dark circles now shadowed her eyes, and fatigue was etched deep between her brows. Back in her rooms, Liuzhu helped her to the couch, where Su Lilu sprawled weakly, barely managing to say, “I’m hungry. Bring me some pastries.”

Shortly after, a strange maid entered and said, “Miss, I’ll get them right away.”