Chapter 53: Could It Be Mixed Doubles?

[You wanted me to pretend to be the Emperor?]
[You wanted me to launch a sneak attack?]
[You wanted me to make the mask so realistic??]
[You old bastard, if I don’t beat you to death today, I won’t be Lin anymore!]

Lin Yue unleashed a furious barrage of attacks, leaving Zhong Yuan dumbfounded. He scrambled over hastily, blocking her blows while groaning, “Your Highness, this little eunuch has made a grave mistake. I shall take him away for severe punishment immediately. Please, do not hurt your hand, Your Highness!”

Still, how could the Princess Consort hit so hard? Just one punch made him feel like his bones were about to shatter.

Meanwhile, the Emperor took the chance to flee, clutching his swollen, pig-like face.

The Empress Dowager, seeing his retreating figure, narrowed her eyes suspiciously. “That silhouette looks so much like Xian’er…”

Lin Yue stood up, blowing on her freshly warmed fists, an inscrutable expression on her face. “No, that’s not him.”

[That’s just Huo Renli, another old scoundrel trying to cause trouble again.]
[If it weren’t for fear of accidentally hurting the Princess Consort’s palace staff, I wouldn’t have let him off so easily.]
[Hmph.]

Zhong Yuan rubbed his sore and swollen back, worry creasing his brow. “Princess Consort, do you think my heart is broken?”

Lin Yue twitched the corner of her mouth, hastily explaining, “It’s just some flesh wound. You should go back and rest.”

“By the way, do you know that little eunuch? Why are you pleading for him?”

Zhong Yuan shuddered in fright, shaking his head vehemently. “I don’t know him. I just arrived and didn’t even see his face. I was only worried Your Highness might hurt her hand. Who knew…”

That he’d been beaten so badly?

Oh no!

If he’s this badly beaten, what about the Emperor…?

Good heavens, strike him down with lightning! He won’t last a day on such a grueling mission.

Zhong Yuan collapsed in despair. “My heart is completely broken…”

Lin Yue: “…” Is this some kind of scam?

Empress Dowager: “…” Well, he’s lying flat enough, but it seems something’s missing in the middle?

…

The Emperor fled to the Qinzhen Hall, covering his swollen face. Zhou Dahai, seeing him enter like that, thought, “Oh ho, you coveted the Princess Consort, and now the Empress Dowager has taught you a lesson, huh?”

He sauntered in slowly and caught a glimpse of the Emperor looking in the mirror. But who was that pig-faced figure reflected back?

Before Zhou Dahai could react, the Emperor slammed his fist against the mirror with a loud crash.

It was a bronze mirror, and soon the Emperor’s pained cries echoed through the hall.

“Ah! It hurts!”

Zhou Dahai: “…” ??

Suddenly, an understanding dawned on Zhou Dahai, and he exclaimed in disbelief, “Heavens above, who did this to the Emperor?”

“Was it the Empress Dowager? But how could she be so heavy-handed?”

“Could it have been the Empress?”

“Or a combined attack by the Empress Dowager and the Empress?”

The Emperor: “…” Screw you!!!

“Get lost! Go find Imperial Physician Lin to examine me. I can feel my nasal bone is broken!”

Zhou Dahai: “…”

Heavens, this is definitely an assault!

“Your Majesty…”

The Emperor angrily roared, “Get lost!”

But then the pain made him grit his teeth, deepening his resentment toward Zhou Dahai.

Seeing the bloody redness in the Emperor’s eyes, Zhou Dahai dared not delay and hurried to fetch Imperial Physician Lin.

Just as he left, the Emperor warned, “Keep this secret. Don’t let anyone know. Tell them it’s just a medical examination!”

Zhou Dahai—so he shouldn’t go personally? Or else the truth would be revealed?

At that moment, Zhong Yuan staggered in, looking pale and weak, walking unsteadily as if he’d been dragged into a thicket and severely mistreated.

Zhou Dahai asked curiously, “What happened to you?”

Zhong Yuan wailed, “Master, I’m doomed. I watched the Emperor get beaten and didn’t stop it!”

Zhou Dahai stepped back, a glint of excitement flashing in his eyes. Finally, the truth would unfold!

“Who exactly beat the Emperor into that pig’s face?”

The moment Zhong Yuan heard “pig’s face,” his vision darkened and he collapsed to the ground.

Zhou Dahai quickly caught him and said, “Tell me first before you faint!”

Zhong Yuan broke down completely, sobbing, “Master, do you have a conscience?”

Zhou Dahai: “…”?!

Soon, Imperial Physician Lin was summoned.

The Emperor lay on the bed, his face covered with a cloth. Zhong Yuan leaned near the dragon bed, pale and barely holding on.

Imperial Physician Lin was at a loss and asked Zhou Dahai, “Is this for the Emperor?”

At that moment, the figure on the bed ripped off the cloth and urged, “Hurry, it hurts so much!”

Imperial Physician Lin was shocked by the swollen, disfigured face and asked, “Who are you?”

The Emperor: “…”!!!

Zhou Dahai, seeing the face even more swollen than before, gasped and said seriously, “It’s the Emperor! You’d better get to work and examine him.”

Imperial Physician Lin shuddered in fright. It was the Emperor!

That meant he was probably on the brink of death!

The Emperor’s injuries had reached the point of disfigurement!

“How exactly did this happen…”

The Emperor gripped the blanket, gritting his teeth. “Don’t ask!”

“Just treat it!”

Imperial Physician Lin: “…”

After a thorough examination, Imperial Physician Lin breathed a sigh of relief.

Apart from the nasal bone being fractured but not completely broken—still partially connected and able to heal slowly—there was severe swelling and internal bruising on the face. Even if it recovered, it would take two to three months.

“Your Majesty, I will apply medicine immediately. You need to rest in bed for seven days before attending court. However, you’ll need to wear a mask; otherwise, the ministers will know…”

“You were beaten!”

The Emperor said, “I won’t last seven days without leaving this room. The entire court will know.”

“Don’t you have any special medicine?”

Imperial Physician Lin replied, “The Crown Prince once took some miraculous medicine and recovered overnight. If such a miracle exists, it can only be found from elsewhere.”

The Emperor touched his swollen face, wincing in pain.

He couldn’t even endure one night, let alone seven days.

All this was because of his sister-in-law’s fight. Was it unreasonable for him to ask for a miracle drug?

Besides, he needed to handle state affairs; lying in bed like this was unacceptable.

Thinking it over, he decided to shamelessly get this matter resolved.

“Zhou Dahai.”

“At your service, Your Majesty. Just command.”

The Emperor paused, then continued, “Go to the Empress Dowager and the Princess Consort. Tell them I was stung by a hornet and my face swelled up badly. If not treated promptly, it could be life-threatening.”

“Ask the Empress Dowager if she has any remedies. Also, ask the Princess Consort if there are folk cures for hornet stings.”

Imperial Physician Lin was horrified. “Your Majesty, the wrong medicine will only worsen the injury!”

The Emperor snapped, “Shut up and wait here. Don’t go anywhere.”

Imperial Physician Lin: “As you command.”

“Zhou Dahai, go quickly. If you dare to experiment with any medicine on me along the way, I will have you executed!”

Zhou Dahai shuddered. How did the Emperor know he planned to try folk remedies? Without testing, how would he know if they were toxic?

That’s not the point—the point is, when did trying medicine become a capital offense?

“Your Majesty…” Zhou Dahai felt deeply aggrieved.

The Emperor closed his eyes, gasping, and said coldly, “Do as I say. Zhong Yuan, you supervise your master.”

“Do this properly, and I’ll spare your life!”

Zhong Yuan, who had been barely alive moments before, jumped up instantly. “At your command!”

Zhou Dahai was speechless and asked, “Does your heart not hurt anymore?”

Zhong Yuan replied, “It never did.”

Zhou Dahai: “…”?!