Chapter 4: Father's Embrace—Firm, Broad, and Unwavering

From dusk until nightfall, nearly an hour seemed to stretch on without end.

At last the heavy snow ceased, but the bitter wind still howled and raged.

Those left standing in the snow were all poor folk who had rushed out in haste. Without shelter from the wind, without a brazier to warm themselves, they were chilled to the bone in no time, their hands and feet stiff, their tongues too frozen to speak plainly.

The same was true of the Su family.

A large household, yet not a single garment warm enough to weather the cold. The old cotton stuffing inside the padded jackets they wore had long since turned yellow and hard, offering no real protection at all.

Several of the little ones were shivering so hard their teeth chattered.

Fearing the children might freeze ill, Liu Yulan called the three of them over and huddled them together beneath a thin quilt.

Even so, it did little good.

Old Madam Su looked toward the snow mountain, which had long since gone still, and gritted her teeth. “Come on, we’re going home!”

The Su household was in utter disarray.

When the avalanche struck, the earth had shaken and the mountains had roared. The dilapidated farmyard collapsed under the force, house walls cracking and the roof caving in, broken beams and planks, pots and bowls scattered all over the ground.

Fortunately, the main room had been reinforced earlier that day. Apart from half the roof collapsing, it was still barely fit for living.

The kitchen was the worst hit. It could no longer even be called a kitchen; it was nothing but ruins. Scrape away the earth and stone, and fragments of porcelain bowls buried beneath could be seen everywhere.

“Second daughter-in-law, find some firewood and light a fire in the main room first so the children can warm up. Eldest and second son, clean up the house and see what’s left that can still be used. Father of the children, go mend the doors and windows. I’ll take a look at the cellar; we’ll have to dig out something and make a little food.” Old Madam Su managed the household skillfully, and the men and children were all used to obeying her.

After she finished, she paused and then said to Su Da, “Once the house is in order, tomorrow go over to the neighboring village and check on your sister Xiuer’s in-laws. If there’s anything you can help with, lend a hand.”

Su Da lowered his brows and immediately answered, “Understood, Mother. I’ll go first thing tomorrow morning.”

His younger sister, Su Xiuer, had married into the Chen family in the neighboring village the year before. Her husband, Chen De, was tolerable enough, but her parents-in-law were another matter entirely.

Today his wife had gone over to help with the birth, and tomorrow he ought to go see how things were, lest Xiuer be spoken of badly by those in-laws.

A fire was lit in the main room, and warmth began to rise, thinning the chill in the air.

The three children circled the fire, rubbing their hands again and again. The fear and panic from the avalanche slowly began to fade after they returned home.

Home was always the harbor that let them settle their hearts.

Liu Yulan sat a little farther from the fire, afraid the smoke might choke her daughter.

She had only just given birth and was still weak; with the house in such a mess, she could not help much, and could only take care of the children as best she could.

“Mother, is little sister asleep?” Four-year-old Su An stretched his neck to peer into the tightly wrapped swaddling cloth.

Su Wen and Su Wu also craned their necks, peeking at the tiny tuft of baby hair that was all they could see, curious and newly fascinated.

Liu Yulan curved her lips in a gentle smile. “Your little sister isn’t asleep yet. You can come closer and take a look.”

As soon as she said that, three heads immediately crowded above the baby.

One with crooked pigtails, one round and sturdy as a little tiger, and one with a nose full of snot.

The eyes of eight people met.

The three children cried out, “Wow! Little sister looks so ugly!”

The baby remained expressionless.

“Little sister’s face is all soft and chubby, nothing but flesh!! She’s so tiny! Her face is so soft! Slippery too! So nice to touch!”

“Let me touch her!”

“I want to too, I want to too!”

Not only did three heads crowd over the top, they also reached in with their fingers, each poking the baby’s cheek.

The baby could not endure it any longer. She clenched her tiny fists, wriggled forcefully out of the swaddling, and swung forward.

Smack.

She hit the snot-nosed child right on the nose, with a force so light it was almost like wiping away his snot.

The snot-nosed child’s eyes lit up. “Little sister is so cute!”

The baby: “...”

The baby fell asleep in a fit of outrage.

The Su family spent half the night working, and at last the house was restored to some semblance of order.

All the while, they could still hear crying and cursing from the neighboring homes.

After such an avalanche, none of the nearby households were spared hardship.

Sorrow and misery hung over everything.

When the baby woke in a daze, she was already lying in the room where she had been born, wrapped in swaddling cloth, with a thin blanket that had gone stiff draped over her.

The room was dim, with no lamp lit. Only a few strands of moonlight spilled in through the window, barely enough to serve as illumination. It was already deep into the night.

The cloth curtain over the door was lifted, and a man stepped in softly, whispering, “Why are you still awake? Did the baby wake up and make a fuss?”

Liu Yulan sat propped against the head of the bed and said gently, “No, the baby is very good. She hasn’t fussed once since she was born. Even when she’s hungry, she doesn’t cry; she just opens her eyes and waits obediently.”

As she spoke, she lowered her head and looked toward the inside of the bed, meeting her daughter’s clear black eyes.

After adjusting to the light in the room, she could see in the dark as well.

Liu Yulan’s gaze softened unconsciously. She gathered her daughter into her arms, patted her lightly, and with one hand unfastened the ties of her crossed-collar inner garment. “You’re awake, so you must be hungry. Mother will feed you.”

The baby had not smelled any rice fragrance in the air. Then, seeing the woman’s movements, she faintly realized something and her eyes flew wide open.

Too late.

By the time her little mouth had automatically and naturally begun to suck, the baby’s mind had already gone blank.

The clear, distinct little smacking sounds by her ear left her feeling utterly hopeless.

Su Da walked to the bedside and sat down gently. In the moonlight from outside the window, he looked warmly at the scene before him.

Throughout, he stayed very quiet, afraid of disturbing his daughter’s meal.

Only after his daughter had finished eating did he reach out and say, “Come, let Father hold you.”

The baby was transferred.

From one embrace to another.

A different scent, the same warmth.

She raised her eyes in the dimness and silently looked at the face above her.

That face was square-jawed, resolute, kind, and honest.

When he held her, he was careful and steady.

Unlike her mother’s tender embrace, her father’s held weight and strength, broad and dependable, somehow filling one with a strange sense of peace.

“Little one, daughter.” The man held the child in his arms, a smile spreading across his face, his gaze softening, even his voice unconsciously growing lighter. “I’m your father. Oh, my little one is so good, not making any fuss at all. Not like your brothers when they were little, those little rascals.”

The baby blinked.

She was simply too small to move; otherwise she would have turned over and run.

This father was pricking her with the stubble on his chin.

In the dim, cramped little room, the family of three spoke in low voices, the mood warm and harmonious.

After teasing his daughter for a while, and seeing her tiny mouth begin to yawn, Su Da reluctantly laid her back into the thin quilt and tucked in the corners.

Once his daughter was settled, Su Da took Liu Yulan’s slender hand in his palm. The lightness in his voice was gone, replaced by heaviness and sorrow. “Yulan, you suffered today.”

Liu Yulan was startled for a moment, then spat at him, “What nonsense are you saying? Which woman gives birth without suffering? You’re being awfully sentimental today.”

“Our home is in such a poor state. You gave birth to a daughter and I don’t even have anything decent to help you recover with. You haven’t even finished your confinement, and already you had to go running outside, freezing in the snow...” Su Da’s eyes reddened at the corners, his throat tightening. “Mother says this might leave you with lasting illness.”

Liu Yulan was not a mother for the first time.

She knew that after giving birth, a woman had to observe confinement properly in order to nurse her body back to health; otherwise, if she was not careful, she would end up with lingering sickness from the confinement period.

She understood all of that.

But circumstances were beyond one’s control. There was no one to blame.

Her lot was already better than many others. Their family was poor, yes, but her in-laws were good, her sisters-in-law were amicable, and there were fewer troubles at home.

“It was worth it.” She leaned her head lightly against the man’s shoulder and smiled faintly.

She was content.